One of the things I heard about Europe before my departure was how convenient and efficient the public transportation system is. And it's true, it's easy and quick to get around. But today, for the second time in as many weeks, a baby crapped its pants on the bus I was on. The most (only) amusing part of the whole incident was watching the mother squirm with discomfort. At first, she tried to pretend that it wasn't her baby that did it. It was a nice effort, but there were a total of 5 people on the bus, and one of them was wearing a diaper. You're not fooling anyone, lady. Anyways, my thoughts on the matter, in chronological order:
- It smells like Tijuana
- Crapping your pants was only the second worst thing that baby did today. The worst was wearing that Yankees hat. (Seriously, why do so many people wear Yankees hats here. I guess that's what it must be like with Americans' ManU love to people in England).
- I ride the bus about twice a day. In the fourteen (or less) times I've been on the bus in the last two weeks, someone on board has had an accident twice. That's staggeringly frequent.
- People always complain about babies on airplanes. Can you imagine if this happened 30,000 feet in the air?
- I think I'm gonna swim back to California
- That baby has no shame.
- I need to get off this bus. Being stuck here is like being stuck at an Alanis Morissette concert.
- I'm finally here! Of course, the mother and baby get off the bus right in front of me.
When I found out I got Sweden for my study abroad choice instead of New Zealand, I was slightly relieved, as I'm a huge insect phobe. I was mistaken to feel relieved. There's only one thing that drinks more than Swedes, and that thing is the mosquito. I wake up each morning with at least 3 new bites, usually on my ankles. By the end of the semester I won't be able to walk.
I was really excited to find out they have baseball teams here. I was slightly less excited to hear that they don't have pitchers or catchers in Swedish baseball. Apparently you just throw the ball up and hit it. Baseball without pitchers and catchers is sorta like hockey without fighting. Like Michael Vick without dogs. Abe Lincoln without the getting assassinatedness. Or Paris Hilton in general. It's boring. It's like men's softball. I guess I'm slightly biased because of my lack of shoulder/ability to swing a bat, but they should really think about getting some pitchers.
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